My steps, His direction

Let's start by getting this off of my chest...

I am a Doula!!!!!

Now, let me back track and give the ground work for how all of this came to. 

Back in January, while I was pregnant with Zeke man, I had my first Kaiser Permanente experience. Well, my first personal visit. During the visit I was given a folder containing miscellaneous pregnancy and delivery information. This included a section on a "doula." A doula what I thought. Doula oblong gotta??

That was that. I paid no further mind to the term I didn't quite understand. 

Before I knew it March was here. Ezekiel Anthony was born. My life would never be the same. 

In the weeks following my son's life I felt a strong pulling on my heart. God placed something in me for this strange word I had heard only a few months prior. 

After a bit of research, the mystery was revealed. 

A doula is a birthing assistant. A labor companion. In some ways a woman/ families own personal social worker. 

Wait. 

Social worker. 

This just happens to be what one of my degrees is in.

God, what are you trying to tell me here??

After much prayer I began to feel this was the field I was being called into. 

I spent my communion time during service praying for His guidance. For something to speak to me and show me I was reading it all correctly. 

And there it was. 

Only minutes later. 

Spoken from our Pastor, provided by Him and placed on my heart.

I was on cloud nine. He heard my prayer, and answered it.

Like most of us, it was only a matter of time before the world brought me back down. 

There were so many specifics that needed to be worked out. The logistics of how to change my life's direction. How to take the first step to becoming a doula. And most importantly, the financial means to do so. 

Next prayer on the agenda: God, if this be your will for my life... provide the financial means to meet the cost for training.

Check!

Literally, a check... a few days later.

Next up, my current job.

Lots of logistics went into this one. 

There were so many intricate needs that needed to be met. 

One by one, they were all checked off.

Praise God.

Okay, let me be honest. 

I did praise Him. 

But then, it ceased. And doubt often times overshadowed it.

Even with all these answered prayers... I still had doubts. 

I know. I know!! With all that... yes!!

Finally, this past week. 

I received a text message. It wasn't necessarily something I had been praying for, but it was definitely an answered prayer. 

When I had begun feeling out what being a doula entailed and what exactly I would gear myself and business towards if I were to go into the field, I had various areas envisioned. 

I want my faith to be known. 

Not that any client of mine must share my beliefs or faith, but I do not want to any of my life to be accredited to any one else other than the Creator; other than my Abba Father. The One who gave it all. 

Second, if I was to join this field...I wanted to be the go-to woman for all of life's difficult pregnancies. For miscarriages. For mommies carrying to term or giving their child all the life they can. For stillbirths. For all of the times others "don't know what to say" or those who's "baby is in a better place." It is hard to understand the way a loss feels until you have been there. Until the shoe has been on your foot.

It felt like I had searched high and low to see if there was anything out there focused specifically on support during these situations and nothing came of it. 

>> insert text message here <<

I have been contacted by a woman who does just that!!

In the coming month I will be working with an agency to train on becoming a stillbirth doula. 

I too, will soon be a certified birth doula. 

I am continuing in prayer for guidance and financial provision.

I have taken the first step. 

Made the leap of faith and am trusting God to carry me to place in which He sees fit. 

I cannot wait to see what He has in store for this new journey.